Advice on Coping With New Parent Sleep Deprivation
When you prepare for having a baby, you expect to be running on low sleep, but you might not have realised the true extent of it. Coping with new parent sleep deprivation is a little more than just feeling tired, but don’t worry, you’re not alone, and we can help.
The Important Bits…
- New parent sleep deprivation is common and can lead to fatigue, irritability, anxiety, and even hallucinations in severe cases.
- Coping strategies include napping when baby sleeps, splitting night duties, and building a calming nighttime routine.
- Watch for signs of postnatal depression or anxiety, which can develop or be exacerbated by sleep deprivation, and seek medical help if needed.
- Long-term sleep deprivation can affect your immune system, mental health, and well-being, but this phase won’t last forever, provided you get the right support and use coping mechanisms that work for you.
Heard of the "newborn trenches"? Chances are, if you’re struggling with sleep deprivation, you’re probably in them.
To help you understand more about what you’re likely dealing with (amongst thousands of other new parents around the globe), we’ve put together this guide with tips on recognising symptoms, coping with little sleep, and when to get help.
In This Guide:
- 1. Parental Sleep Deprivation Symptoms
- 2. How to Cope With Sleep Deprivation as a New Parent
- 3. Long-Term Effects of Sleep Deprivation for Parents
- 4. Advice on Staying Awake When You Feel Like You Need to Sleep
- 5. When to Get Help for Parental Sleep Deprivation
- 6. Conclusion: Dealing With Sleep Deprivation Safely
Parental Sleep Deprivation Symptoms
Sleep deprivation is common in new parents with newborns and older babies, but it can look different in everyone, especially depending on how severe your sleep deprivation actually is.
If you're aware of the symptoms, you can act accordingly, so here's what you need to be aware of.
| Common Symptoms | Severe Symptoms |
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If you think you are experiencing any of these symptoms and have been for a while, we have some advice below. However, if you're concerned, you should see a GP or pharmacist for medical help.
How to Cope With Sleep Deprivation as a New Parent
Coping with sleep deprivation as a new parent is one of the biggest challenges you'll face in the early days, and it shouldn't be overlooked.
If you think you're in the early stages, there are some things you can do to help yourself cope with feeling sleep-deprived. So, whether you're looking for a long or short-term solution, here are some of our suggestions.
Sleep When the Baby Sleeps
This sounds cliché, but it really does work. Even if the baby is sleeping for 20 minutes at a time, that's still worth something and can definitely help to make you feel better.
In fact, 10-20 minutes is the ideal time for a power nap, because it's long enough to increase alertness without the feeling of grogginess you'd get from a longer nap.
Even if you think you should do housework during their nap time, you need to prioritise your rest so you can be a better parent. The chores can come later, for now, close your eyes and see how much better you feel.
Split Night Feeds if Possible
Of course, if you're breastfeeding, only you can wake up to feed the baby, but if they're formula-fed, both you and your partner (if they’re in the picture) or someone in your support circle should try to share the night feeds.
Even if you are breastfeeding, your partner or support can help with the nappy changes, burping, and settling the baby afterwards to relieve you for a while.
In the morning, you can give your baby their first feed of the day and go back to sleep if the other carer can start the day with them.
Create a Simple, Calming Night Time Routine
A nighttime routine, while not necessary for babies under 6 weeks old, can be a big help towards getting your little one to sleep and, in turn, you.
Try to keep lights low, noises minimal, and interaction quiet, especially during night feeds when you want to get them off to sleep soon after.
Eventually, this will also help the baby distinguish between night and day, so they can learn that nighttime is for sleeping.
Limit Visitors Where You Can
Don't feel pressured to entertain guests if they ask to come over to see you or the baby. If you think you don't have the energy for it or it'll eat up your precious napping time, simply say no.
A good friend or family member will understand.
However, we do recommend saying yes to help.
If a friend or family member is coming round to cook food, help clean, or babysit while you get some things done (AKA, sleep), this can be super helpful.
Talk it Out
If you're really struggling with your newborn and lack of sleep, we recommend talking to your partner, a friend, or a family member for helpful advice and to see if they can help in any way.
Remember, you're not alone. This happens to most new parents, so talking about it with those who have been through it can help put your mind at ease.
Watch Out for Signs of Postnatal Depression or Anxiety
Sleep deprivation can heighten emotions, especially the negative ones. It can also exacerbate existing problems, so you need to be aware of that, too.
If you're consistently feeling low, anxious, or disconnected, speak to a healthcare professional.
Try Caffeine (But Not Too Late!)
If you don't tend to reach for a hot drink in the morning, this is your sign that you should. A morning coffee or tea (even if it's iced!) can help start the day in a more positive, energised way.
However, avoid drinking caffeinated products after mid-afternoon to avoid it impacting your evening sleep.
Try Blue Light Blocking
Exposure to blue light, especially at night, can suppress your melatonin, which is the hormone that helps your body regulate sleep. Blue light exposure tends to be from lights, and more specifically, screen light.
About an hour before you head to bed, we recommend dimming all lights and trying to limit your screen time before sleeping.
Even though it can be tempting to have a midnight scroll, we suggest staying away from screens in the interest of sleep and opting for a book instead.
Be Kind to Yourself & Prioritise Self-Care
This phase is tough—there's no denying that. The feeling of overwhelming tiredness is completely normal, but you do need to find ways to help yourself.
Prioritising self-care is huge, and we don't mean facemasks and nail painting. We mean getting the right amount of water in a day, eating the right nutrients, taking your vitamins, and trying to get out for some exercise where possible.
Try not to compare yourself to others or feel guilty for not being super productive. Like we said, this phase is hard, and you need to do whatever you can to get through it.
Long-Term Effects of Sleep Deprivation for Parents
Sleep deprivation is linked to a lot of other health problems because, according to Healthline, it “drains your mental abilities and puts your physical health at risk”.
Not only does it affect your central nervous system, which is responsible for your concentration, bodily signals, mood changes, and more, it also affects your…
- Immune system: Long-term sleep deprivation can increase your risk of chronic conditions and illnesses because your body will stop fighting invaders.
- Respiratory system: Sleep deprivation can exacerbate existing respiratory diseases and make you more susceptible to infections like the common cold and flu.
- Digestive system: Sleep affects the levels of two hormones responsible for hunger and fullness, making sleep deprivation a cause of obesity. It can also make you too tired to exercise, which can lead to increased weight.
- Cardiovascular system: People who don't get enough sleep over a long period are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease because sleep affects the body's role in healing and preparing blood vessels.
- Endocrine system: Hormone production weighs heavily on sleep, and your hormones are responsible for a whole host of bodily functions.
The point is, sleep deprivation is common with new parents, but it is essential to get through it, if not for your baby's quality of life, but for your own.
Advice on Staying Awake When You Feel Like You Need to Sleep
Sometimes, you're forced to stay awake because your baby is feeding, they won't settle unless you're holding them, or they need to be watched for one reason or another.
The most important thing to do is not to fall asleep in a dangerous position with your little one. This could be while you're in the bath with them, while you're in a chair with them on your chest, or while they're in the bed with you (unless you're practising safe co-sleeping).
That's why The Lullaby Trust has compiled these tips for staying awake:
- 'Shift swap' with other family members, a partner, or friends if you can.
- Eat snacks like nuts, cereal, or even chewing gum.
- Watch a super interesting or exciting TV show, listen to a podcast, or put some music on.
- Read something that's easy to digest.
- Keep a flask of your favourite hot drink handy for a middle-of-the-night swig.
- Shock your face with some cold water.
- Set alarms and timers when needed.
- Open a window to let some fresh air in. Make sure to take a big breath.
- Play a mind game, such as listing every object you can see.
- Message others who are awake during the night.
The goal is to sleep when the baby sleeps while they're in their crib, cot, or Moses basket, not when they're on you or need to be fed.
When to Get Help for Parental Sleep Deprivation
While some level of sleep disruption is part and parcel of early parenthood, it’s important to recognise when things might be tipping into something more serious.
If you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed, low in mood, anxious, or struggling to function day-to-day, it’s time to reach out.
Persistent sleep deprivation can affect both your mental and physical health, and you don’t have to push through it alone.
If sleep loss is affecting your well-being, speak to your GP, paediatrician, or midwife. Whether you need support with feeding, mental health, or just someone to talk to, help is available, and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Find services and support for parents through the NHS as soon as you can.
Conclusion: Dealing With Sleep Deprivation Safely
Coping with sleep deprivation as a brand new mum, dad, or parent can be tricky and often dangerous if you don't address the problem quickly.
The most important thing to remember is to seek help when you need it and get safe sleep where you can.
It's important to wake up when your newborn does, because it's likely they need feeding. It's also important to ensure your newborn gets the right amount of nutrients in a day. So even if they don't wake up through the night, you might want to consider feeding them anyway.
Sleep deprivation isn't easy, and you shouldn't treat it like it's not happening to you. There are plenty of things you can do to help yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Remember, this feeling won't last forever, and you will feel sane again!
In the meantime, if you need any reading material to help you stay awake, we have plenty of helpful tips and advice on all things babies and new parents over on our Sleep Talk blog! That should help keep you busy on the all-important night feeds.
